Letters from Oz

Of the People, By the People

By
Amy Outlaw
on March 17, 2009 6:34 AM | | Comments (0)
Yesterday morning my 17 year old asked me to edit the draft of her history paper due upon arrival at school. It was about the relationship our country, the US of A, has had with a certain democracy in a region where democracy is rare and the country in question is surrounded by hostile states. I made gammer corrections and offered a few stylistic suggestions. While doing that, I began to wonder if this particular country was a democracy. Since I was doing so out loud, my daughter expressed her annoyance, stating clearly that whether or not this  country was a democracy was not the subject of the paper. I couldn't deny the truth of that, but I could not stop myself from pondering this question.  When a country denies basic rights to some of its citizens, can it still claim to be a democracy? If you are required to be a member of a certain religion in order to have rights, can it still be a democracy? Are theocracy and democracy necessarily at odds with each other?

We did not consider South Africa a democracy until the Blacks and Coloureds there were given the vote. But was that because the majority of the population was disenfranchised, rather than a minority?  If we take democracy to mean that all adult citizens have the right to vote in the processes that determine the leaders and governments of the state, then was the US not a democracy until 1920 when women were given the right to vote? Wow! that would seem weird. But in the very beginning of our so-called democracy, only white men who owned land had the right to vote.  Hmmm, this complicates things a bit. What exactly do we mean when we use the term democracy?

In Webster's Ninth New Collegiate Dictionary, democracy is defined (in part) as: 1. a. government by the people, esp. rule of the majority.  b. a government in which the supreme power is vested in the people and exercised by them directly or indirectly through a system of representation usu. involving periodic free elections 2. a political unit that has a democratic government....5. the absence of hereditary or arbitrary class distinctions or privileges. However, the New International Webster's Pocket Dictionary defines it as: 1. government in  which political control is shared by all the people, either directly or by representatives who they elect. 2. a state so governed. 3. political, legal or social equality.

So, when Lincoln spoke those famous words, "of the people, for the people, by the people", what did he mean?  People is a gender and race neutral word.  Heck, its an age neutral word for that matter.  He didn't use the word citizen, nor man. The two dictionaries above, have, together, 15 definitions for people!  Among the first are: 1. the aggregate of humans beings living under the same government. 2. human beings, persons... there are also several definitions that are more restrictive, such as, the members of a family or kinship, or: subjects of a ruler or government. Number 7 in the Webster's Collegiate, defines people as, the body of enfranchised citizens of a state.

I am not sure that the US was a democracy before 1920, or that the unnamed state above is now.  I know that some people would say that its not a democracy unless there are at least 2 political parties, in other words a one party state cannot be a real democracy. But I am not sure that I have come much closer to understanding what is commonly assumed when the  word democracy is used, other than a vaguely defined form of government that is not a dictatorship or monarchy, where at least a significant minority have the right to vote to elect the leaders and government of their country.




The Mindful Quaker

By
Amy Outlaw
on February 5, 2009 11:39 AM | | Comments (0)
My 20 year old daughter had to practically drag me kicking and screaming to Blue Cliff Monastery for a retreat in January. Well, the kicking and screaming was all internal, since I was supposedly doing it to support her. Much to my surprise, I found it meaningful, refreshing and FUN! I also realized that ten years ago, when I stopped having a mindfulness meditation group meet at my home in favor of devoting myself to my Quaker Meeting, I had thrown too much of the baby out with the bath water, so to speak.

About 13 years ago, I attended the first of 3 week-long retreats with the venerable Thich Nhat Hahn and the monks and nuns of Plum Village (and 1800 other folks!). Was it serendipity or the hand of God (please note: I use "God" as short-hand for that which we call God.), that this first retreat came just weeks after my marriage suddenly, at least, sudden to me, came unglued?  (Perhaps even more amazing, a month or so before the truth-telling that evaporated the glue, I had had a life changing spiritual awakening!) At any rate, it was amazingly helpful to be surrounded by calm, loving people who listened deeply and didn't seem to mind the waterfall of tears every time I attempted to share anything. Despite the distress I was in, I learned the beauty and usefulness of extended periods of silence, of mindful eating and walking meditation.  Some days, when the noble silence ended after breakfast, I did not want to start speaking again for quite awhile. 

There was some way that I felt I had come home and was not surprised at the feelings I had of wanting to become a nun and live this way the rest of my life. Since I was still married and had 3 children between the ages of 5 and 14, this, of course, was not remotely a possibility. The organizers had thoughtfully arranged the daily small groups, geographically.  That is, all 15 people in my group were from the Philadelphia area. About 8 of us decided to continue meeting as a meditation group, weekly- and in my house, so I was committed. Thai, (teacher)
 as Thich Naht Hahn is affectionately called, said and has written over and over again that if you are already committed to your own faith, take what you learn and use it to deepen your own.  After nearly 3 years of being co-organizer of the group, I realized that being a member of my Quaker Meeting, my faith community required a marriage-like commitment, e.g. monogamy.  I had to choose, and Central Philadelphia Monthly Meeting won, hands down.


With my encouragement the whole family, including my husband,  had attended 2 of the 3 retreats mentioned above which we all enjoyed and benefitted from. But our large (by Quaker standards) faith community had so much to offer and, through the crisis in our marriage, we attended more regularly, helping to glue us all back together in a more healthy bond. (There was also a year of physical separation, years of individual therapy and marriage counseling...) My own personal meditation practice has waxed and waned, though not disappeared.  As I have become more and more engaged in the Quaker way, I have explored more traditional practices of prayer and familiarized myself with more of the delights and wonders of Quaker practice- the annoyances I had already become familiar with since I was born and raised in this faith.

My journey, which at times resembles a meandering country road and at others a roller coaster ride, has lead me to pursue Jesus, Christ Jesus or the Christ principle which has existed always, as an aspect of God. It has lead me to seek reconciliation with early Friends (Quakers) and those who currently recognize Jesus/Christ as the center of their faith and practice. However, I remain a Universalist Friend, which means I not only acknowledge that of God in every individual, but also in every religion, every attempt to get closer to God, every attempt at translating those untranslatable experiences of the Divine into human language. I also recognize that every religion has a lot of bath water along with a genuine baby, including my own.

So, am I a Buddhist Quaker? I don't think so.  In exactly the way that I am not a Christian Quaker. The words and examples of both Jesus and Buddha move and inspire me- not to mention elude and, sometimes, confuse me. But, for me neither of them is God.  Only God is.  Sometimes I think of them as aspects of God, but mostly as examples of God-filled humans who show us the way in this life, who offer us words and practices that can protect us and all life, help us live more in tune with the Divine order and bring us closer to God, moment by moment, breath by breath.  I am grateful, eternally in each of their debt- but I do not worship either of them.  I worship God.  Therefore, I dub myself a mindful Quaker, a Friend who attempts to live in the present, wonderful moment- this moment which is a gift from God. So be it.

An Odd, Wondrous Time of Year

By
Amy Outlaw
on December 19, 2008 12:56 PM | | Comments (0)
(Note: this was published in the Friends Journal in December  1998, and an edited shortened version was published on the Editorial page of the Phila. Inquirer on Christmas Day that same year.)

I love this odd, wondrous time of year.  The days grow darker and darker, the air colder and colder, yet while other animals hibernate, we humans light candles, sing carols, dance with joy and give each other gifts. I enjoy all the seasons, but have to admit that I like summer the best; I love to feel the warm air on my skin, eat local fruits and vegetables, and watch dolphins play in the water at sunset.  But there is something so astounding about how we celebrate the light in the midst of darkness that makes me glad to be human and love this time of year anyway.

While everyone laments the commercialism of the season, I see something hopeful and heartwarming even in the worst of it. I used to think that Christmas lights were a waste of energy, but now every house ablaze with lights makes a smile break out on my face. The lights are joyful! No matter the reason, they make our block beautiful and safer to walk out on at night. And all this frantic running around buying gifts- most of it, even if misguided is an attempt to make someone else happy, to show someone else how much they are loved. Even Santa Clause adds a redeeming quality to the ridiculous spectacle of too many presents.  Those families who practice the Santa fantasy, give most of their gifts anonymously, or , rather, pretend that the gifts they give each other are from an overgrown magical elf from the North Pole!

It still seems true, even with all the frantic shopping, wrapping and partying, that the sense of hope, indeed the deep longing around the globe for peace and prosperity for all, can actually be felt. It was at Christmastime that I learned that it was more fun to give than receive. I don't think it was merely my disappointment at almost never getting what I wanted- but, no, that's not exactly accurate either. I remember sometimes being sharply disappointed because I did not get what I had hoped for, but I also remember, the older I got, the more I had this vague sense of disappointment even when I did. I remember the first time I stayed up late to be one of Santa's helpers.  I made my younger sisters a doll house out of cardboard and magazine pictures. It turned out rather well and I got this wonderful feeling doing it. This was much more fun than hoping for lots of presents and having to go to bed early even though you were too excited to sleep! Another time, my mother made all of us girls red flannel nightgowns, that we where not supposed to know about, of course. I secretly made each of us a pair of booties from the left over material and surprised everyone.  That was fun!

Even now, when all the excitement of unwrapping presents is over, I feel disappointed.  Of course, there is always a letdown after every climax.  But I believe there is more to this than that. I think we humans have a natural, built-in desire for things to be right for everyone. During the Chanukah/Winter Solstice/Christmas season this longing is encouraged to bloom in full force and yet is also subverted into wanting and expecting presents. Whether we get the presents we want or not, the longing to have things right, or better in the world comes out in small and large acts of kindness and generosity, but is not entirely satisfied, if at all by them.

I think everyone one of us, who celebrates Christmas, wishes unconsciously that when we wake up on Christmas morning, all will be right with the world. Even though this means that we wake up and be disappointed that our deepest wish did not come true, just the fact that we wish it, and that we wish it in the darkest time of the year and that we light candles and sing about it, makes me love this season and appreciate human nature despite all else.

Why We All Feel the Urge to Celebrate This Season

By
Amy Outlaw
on December 13, 2008 12:32 AM | | Comments (0)
Why on earth do so many of us celebrate this season even those that are not Christian? What could compel us to decorate our houses with lights in the darkness? Or act as if it is everybody's birthday? Why do we decorate the inside of our houses with a tree and other greenery? Why do we secretly hope that on December 25 we will wake up and all will be right with the world? Could it be the vast and sinister power of advertising? Or merely the biggest economic event of the year? I am beginning to think otherwise.

According to Wikipedia,"Christmas is celebrated throughout the Christian population, but is also celebrated by many non-Christians as a secular, cultural festival. The holiday is widely celebrated around the world, including in the United States, where it is celebrated by 96% of the population.[6]"

Several times over the past 2000 years church authorities have ridiculed and even tried to ban Christmas.  Anyone who has looked into it knows that Jesus was not born on December 25.  Only two of the four Gospels in the Christian New Testament mention Jesus' birth at all and neither mentions a date or even a season. The most recent attempts to ban the celebration of Christmas in the US were in the late 17th and early 18th centuries by the Puritans, Quakers and other Protestants who saw it as a papist, meaning Catholic, holiday.  After the American Revolution it fell out of favor because it was seen as an English holiday. (In England after the Protestant Reformation the Monarchy tried to ban Christmas but such violent rioting broke out they gave it up.) Christmas gradually gained favor in the US and Europe (and many other places around the world).  However, partly because of the religious controversy and also the growing secularization of society, it became secularized and eventually commercialized out the wazoo, as we say.


Despite the above history the holiday retains a deeper meaning that cannot be explained by the commercial and economic forces of modern society and custom.  I have come to believe that this time of year is holy, requires our attention, causes anticipation and dread, the need to withdraw and to celebrate, inspires awe and hope- and all of this pre-date's the birth of Jesus, whenever that was, and Christianity. For some years I have thought that the Church authorities tried to usurp this important time of year for its own purposes,  But I now wonder if they too felt the power of this primal, holy time of year and recognized its congruency with the birth story of Christ, pairing them up precisely because they match so well.

For many pre-Christian cultures around the globe the winter solstice was the most important (read holiest) time of year. Of course, in the southern hemisphere their winter solstice happens during our summertime and vice versa. Though we live in modern times and ameliorate the extreme temperatures of the seasons, though we do not rise with the sun and sleep when darkness falls, we are more affected by the seasons and forces of nature than we know or can easily admit. Do you know the origin of  the Christmas wreath? The Celts, at the beginning of the dark time of year, set aside a whole month  to worship and celebrate. They removed a wheel from their cart, decorated and hung it on their door.  This ensured that normal work stopped and the praying and celebrating began. Modern, especially Christian, theologians describe the Celts as primitively praying to the sun to not abandon them, or placating the sun-god to return.  But I suspect that even then, there was a deeper more mysterious process going on, for surely anyone who lived longer than a few years witnessed the regularity of the seasons; the days grew shorter, the sun further away, but then came back and the days grew longer again.

So, no matter what religious persuasion you are- or even if you are persuaded by none, let us celebrate the light in the midst of darkness, let us give each other gifts, let us take the month of December off as much as we can, as much as we dare.  Let us sing to each other of despair and hope, of joy and sorrow,  and of the rebirth of light. Let us be again like small children waiting, believing that our wish will come true on 'Christmas' morning, hoping against hope that all will be right with the world.  And, then when it isn't, let us rededicate ourselves to bringing a little more light into the world each day in whatever small ways we may.

Wishing you a Merry Christmas, a Happy Solstice and a new (perhaps) sense of the mystery, beauty and holiness of this, the darkest time of the year!

Thank you, Ohio

By
Amy Outlaw
on November 7, 2008 11:28 AM | | Comments (0)
Forty eight years ago, when I was 8 years old, my family moved from suburban Philadelphia to small town Ohio. I was the new kid in the third grade class taught by Miss Forney at Barnesville Elementary School.  I had not had particularly good experiences in first and second grade and the class with Miss Foreny was no exception. My family were (and are) Democrats and it was an election year. Barnesville and the surrounds were Republican, but it would not have occurred to me to care about it much.  It seemed that my acceptance into the the social life of the third grade was dependent on who I was "voting" for. I, of course, was unabashed about saying Kennedy, since that was who my parents were for.

The kids version of campaigning in Miss Forney's third grade went something like this: 
The class ring leaders, whose names have long ago faded from my memory, confronted me with the ominous threat that if Kennedy was elected, soldiers would march down the streets of Barnesville and take over the town (an 8 years old's version of martial law). When that had no effect on changing  my mind, there was the more blatant, we won't play with you unless you say you are for Nixon. I was distressed by this threat and felt betrayed by my one friend, whose parents were best friends with mine and a large part of the reason we moved there, who capitulated.  She and her family had been living there for a year before we came and it makes me wonder, now, what that year had been like for her.

My recollection is that I never did say I was for Nixon, the kids got bored with the whole thing after a while, and when the election happened, it passed over as if nothing had actually occurred.  Truth be told, it really had very little impact on their lives or mine.  I didn't even think to comment on that no soldiers ever showed up. After the fact, perhaps years later, I learned a few things about that election. My own grandmother had refused to vote for Kennedy because he was Catholic.  Nixon was a Quaker, like my family- only from a branch so far removed from our beliefs and practices as to be unrecognizable. It was an extremely close race. And last, but not least, President Kennedy became a much loved and respected leader even by many of those that voted against him.

Some have tried to draw parallels between that election and this one.  But what strikes me this morning is the role people from the great state of Ohio have played in this historic election. It has been well documented that many Ohio voters who felt uneasy with Barak Obama's race overcame their own fears and prejudices. They were able to look beyond the color of his skin, take a courageous leap of faith and cast a ballot for the candidate that most spoke to their own issues; collectively playing a key role in electing him to the highest office of the land. I have no doubt that many if not most of those who were in my third grade class were among them.

This is a shout out to them and to all those like them, in Ohio and elsewhere, young and old, who chose to do the right thing. Thank you! You have helped restore my faith in our democracy.  You have helped to restore the rest of the world's as well. Its daunting that so many, the world over, still do look to us, the United States of America, for leadership by example. The times are tough, the economic picture bleak, but we have chosen well. Kennedy was elected in prosperous times, by a slim margin.  Obama has a greater mandate, but must somehow pull off a more Roosevelt-like feat without getting involved in a world war! I believe he is up to the job- but only if we do as the Ohioans have done, reach past our fears  and do the right thing. The success of the Obama Presidency and the fate our our nation, depend on all of us pulling together and living into Kennedy's high but not unreasonable expectation of us to "Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country."
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Amy was born in 1952 to Quaker parents in Philadelphia, PA. She is the mother of 2 young adults and one teenager. She and her husband, David who is a physician, have been married 27 years. Amy lives, works and writes in West Philadelphia, though a large part of her heart resides in Africa. More about Amy.

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Firstday Reflections

Help Us Make a Way Where There Is No Way

By
Amy Outlaw
on June 17, 2009 10:41 AM | | Comments (0)

 

Because of recent events and the barrage of reactions and responses, I feel I must speak what is on my heart and has been for a few years, now.  However, I do so with trepidation because I have been waiting and praying for the right time and the right words so that my part of the truth will be heard and not perceived as on this or that side. I find I can wait no longer. In Quakerese, I can no longer wear this sword (of silence) and remain faithful to that which we call God.

 

Is there is a way that we, the religious left, are also responsible for the murder of Dr. Tiller? The polarization of this issue has been manipulated by those in power, but we have played our part by accepting some very basic untruths. Abortion is not synonymous with healthcare, it is not a universal right. Nor does it make up for the thousands of years of women's oppression, or heal the wounds caused by mothers who died in childbirth or under the knife of illegal abortions.  It is, on occasion, a terrible necessity, and will continue to be so until we create the conditions which make it unnecessary. It is a great spiritual truth that destroying is easy, creating, particularly after much destruction, is hard. But with God's help we may repent, that is, rethink and turn around, turn back toward God,  so that we can create a world in which abortion is unnecessary and unchosen- except, possibly, in rare and extreme cases.

 

I, like so many of us, am a child of the age I was born into.  Feminism was a huge blessing in my life and I was freed from many of the external restraints and false notions of what it means to be female because of it.  But I was duped and lulled into believing that a fetus was not human and that abortion was nothing,  of no consequence, no more than getting a wart removed.  I do understand why so many of us fell prey to this.  Desperate women will risk their own lives to have an illegal abortion, and have done so throughout history.  And it is for this reason alone that abortion must, unfortunately, remain legal until we are able to create those conditions which make it unnecessary.  But it is not a universal right and it is not synonymous with women's healthcare, especially in this society where actual conception control is available, even if not perfectly so.

 

Are we not all children of God? Is not life sacred? Are we not each gifted with a divine spark, the inner light, that of God within? When does this occur? At birth? Sometime during gestation? Or at conception? How can we know for sure? It is not possible to know these things in a scientific way, for we are not talking about something on the physical plane, but on the spiritual, or where the spiritual and physical meet. So we must take it on faith.  One question we can ask is, "What is the most loving thing to do?" We  will, of course, not all reach the same conclusion about what is most loving.  And here is the rub: abortion is always a 'Sophie's choice', even though it is between a mother and child rather than choosing which child will live. This choice is always heart rending, and spiritually damaging, just as choosing to kill anyone else to save your own life always is.  It has become accepted by many that war is not only devastating because of the destruction of life and resources, but for soldiers the killing of others leaves psychological (and spiritual) damage that may never be repaired. Just so, abortion. There are cases, when it may make some kind of sense to chose the lesser of two evils, but lets not pretend that the lesser evil magically becomes good because no other option was (or seemed) available.

 

This begs the question, "Can good come of evil?"  Here it is important to admit that God works in mysterious ways, and that from our vantage point, as humans, it seems that what was meant for evil God can use for good. But I would never advise anyone to do evil hoping that God would use it for good, unless there really and truly was no other choice. In these desperate situations it behooves us to remember that God can make a way where there is no way. Prayer matters, how you live your life matters, the choices you make matter... Indeed, I believe that the violent terrorists who murdered Dr. Tiller had convinced themselves that they were either doing God's will or were accomplishing the lesser evil for the greater good. Clearly they were mistaken on both counts, with horrendous results, that no doubt have made God weep!

 

We can turn this around.  We can, with God's help, make a way where it seems there is no way. We can forge an alliance of people of good will who are determined to see that abortion becomes unnecessary.  We can live in that Power and that Life which makes war and abortion obsolete. And we can start by recognizing abortion for what it is- killing.

 

The murder of  Dr. Tiller is a tragedy, it was wrong and it's perpetrators must be arrested, tried and bear the full consequences under the law if found guilty (excluding the death penalty from my point of view).  They are true terrorists, for it is clear that their object is not only retribution but as a warning to other doctors who perform abortions and women who have them. This cannot be allowed, or condoned in any way, shape or form.  This only makes it clearer than ever that we must come together- to form a majority, who know that abortion is wrong, and that the only way to eliminate it is to eliminate the need for it. I believe that this coalition can happen, is waiting to happen, will take much hard work and soul searching, much prayer as well as divine assistance, but is the only answer to this deadly situation. How can we fight terrorism non-violently? By offering the good people who are confused into supporting or tacitly supporting the extremists, another way. Can we offer a way of hope, integrity and love? A way to come together and work for a new day, a day when all God's children will be cherished, and allowed to flourish? I believe we can and we must. Indeed, because of this latest act of murder, God is calling, God is crying out for us to do so.

 

Amy Kietzman

 

Note: To be completely transparent, I have never had an abortion, and I consider myself lucky, as I am aware that so many of my contemporaries have. Indeed, until the birth of my 3rd child, I was not absolutely sure that I would not, could not have an abortion.  I was also pregnant accidentally 3 times- but all of them when I was married and economically secure.  One ended in miscarriage.  Only one of my children was planned, my first born, and I had access to conception control, but did not use it wisely or well by any standards- unless, of course, one considers the daughters that were a direct result.

 

 

 

Little Sabbaths Everywhere

By
Amy Outlaw
on May 6, 2009 2:21 PM | | Comments (0)
Joan Borysenko reminds us that each week has a cycle mirroring the cycle of the year, though in our busy-ness we have, for the most part, forgotten. (Pocketful of Miracles, p150) The Sabbath is the center or heart of the week and its hallmarks are rest and appreciation- awareness and gratitide for the gifts [that which we call] God showers upon us. In the Bible, God commands us to remember the Sabbath day and keep it holy.

I would like to add that each day also has a rythym and cycle mirroring the week's. Of the 16 to 18 hours most of us are not asleep of each 24 hour cycle, one or two could be devoted to relaxedly aknowlegding, with gratitude, the good in our lives or simply taking a nap, instead of that extra cup of coffee!

I have the luxury of enjoying, at least, a half hour of worship every weekday morning, and since I have invited my friends and neighbors to join me, I actually do it every day even if no one else shows up. I realize that this is not practical for most people- at least, in this culture where doing is so much more prized than being and we are constantly plugged into our computers, phones and MP3 players, or ever listening to radio or watching TV. 

I invite you to uplug- or get away from all that, at work and at home, for all these gadgets mean that work follows us home and dogs us there as well. Take a minute, take five, or even a half hour.  Find a place where you can be still, where it is quiet, or free from distracting noise.  Maybe go for a walk, and simply enjoy your walking, or if you use a wheel chair, enjoy your roll! Notice the river of life around you, notice that you are alive and breathing. Enjoy your breathing- now there's a radical idea! Take time to thank the Boundless Source of all that is for what ever you can. AND let yourself smile. Give yourself the gift of a little Sabbath, each day as you are able.

God speaks to us, Spirit is constantly whispering in our ear, through nature, other human beings and even via songs on the radio! But when we are multi-tasking (which is occassionally unavaidable) or consumed by worries from our past and having our potential pain from the future, now, we cannot hear or understand. Sitting still or finding the stillness and silence within as we walk or sit, allows us to hear and to  appreciate.  It also allows us to rest, from the hubub around us. Plus 'banking' the stillness and silence, giving it a place to reside, and earn interest, so to speak, also allows us to perceice what God is wishing for us to know and do, or just be aware of, even amidst the busy-ness of life.

For my birthday about a month ago I asked for a chiming clock, the kind that chimes on the quarter hour. Lo and behold, that's what I got. Now, every 15 minutes a sweet gentle chiming can be heard in our house. When I can hear it, I stop and enjoy my breathing or say a little prayer of thanksgiving. When it chimes the hours, I can't help myself- all of its own accord a smile parts my lips and lifts my heart. This, of course, may not be your cup of tea. How might you accomplish something similar? How 'bout when the phone rings, instead of rushing to answer it, you stop for just 10 seconds and 'smell the roses' or just silently say thank you, or enjoy one full breath? What if every time you went to the rest room, you walked slowly, noticing that you have feet (or wheels) and were grateful? How would it feel to give yourself little mini Sabbaths throughout the day? What would it be like if people everywhere began observing a little Sabbath here, a little Sabbath there?

Time for a nap!

The Garden

By
Amy Outlaw
on April 2, 2009 10:17 AM | | Comments (1)
The gift of self awareness, or is it a burden?
Destroyed the marvelous Garden of Eden
Or so I thought, until I found a key 
to the secret garden deep inside of me
there the tree of Life still grows
there the eternal spring still flows
there the lion of me lies down with the lamb
all thirst is quenched, all hunger banned
there I stand naked, for no armor or garments
could shield me from the light that burns off pretense
Each breath I take carries the fragrance
of the Divine Gardener's sweet essence
on the edge of a sea where each wave disappears
into the sweet water that once was salty tears
There I am lost as surly as I am found
all self awareness sinks into holy ground

By
Amy Outlaw
on July 2, 2008 4:40 PM | | Comments (0)

Most mornings when I meditate by myself or worship with others I come to a place that that nourishes me and helps me consistently, but is difficult to describe.  Never the less, I will try.

 

Deep inside each of us, inside you and me is a space, no a spaciousness.  It is as deep and wide as the event we call the universe.  It is as vast and capacious as that which we call God. It is as if heaven and earth meet there, in this boundlessness.  Here all things are possible, all problems solvable; it is here where the solution to each problem, large or small can be found. This is the Holy Spirit, not a being so much as a place, a place without beginning or end.  When we touch this place, the ultimate dimension and the historical become one, or rather, the door that seems to be between them opens, or the veil thins to nothing.  This is the place of healing, of redemption, of forgiveness, of love beyond understanding, beyond belief.  And yet it is there always.  It is what, I believe Jesus was referring to when he proclaimed the Kingdom of God had was/is at hand, and when questioned about where the kingdom is, pronounced that the Kingdom of God is within you/among you.

 

This spaciousness is most commonly accessed in stillness; stopping to pray a silent prayer, meditating, or in Quaker meeting for worship.  But it is often most easily accessed, as you are absorbed in doing something you truly enjoy; creating art, playing an instrument, dancing, fixing or repairing something... when without effort, you become wholly present to the moment, all thoughts of past or future disappear spontaneously, and you become one with what you are doing. For this time, doing and being cease to be separate, they simply are the same.

 

My hope and prayer is for each of us, each human being, to touch this spaciousness more frequently. Some have offered the challenge to live while praying unceasingly. Which I believe is an attempt to describe the above.  Another image I have is to live with one foot in heaven and one on earth, or one foot in the ultimate dimension and the other in the historical/material dimension.

 

Stop   Breathe  Be Still   Do What Brings You Joy   Pray   Express Gratitude  As we do these every day, that boundless spaciousness will become more and more accessible to us, opening up more creative solutions to the global as well as personal problems that plague us in these times.

 

Burnt Offering

By
Amy Outlaw
on May 23, 2008 7:02 PM | | Comments (0)
The blackened landscape seemed
                           dead
as the ranger trudged through
taking mental notes of the
                           destruction
trying to keep it all in perspective
                     not an especially big fire
                     in the scale if things
                     just devastating to those
                     who call this home
                     most animals and birds fled
                             escaping death
                     insects may have not been so lucky...
                     some seeds actually need this kind of heat 
                             to germinate
                     burnt underbrush will fertilize the soil

But, the atmosphere was ghostly
where there had been abundant life
All was now dark, quiet
                                 desolation

Something made the ranger look down
there, 
almost underfoot
                     was a wraith-like warbler
tiny wings protectively spread out 
Bending down for a closer look
it crumbled into ashes and blew away with a puff
revealing a miniature nest and three chicks
                      alive and unharmed 
                                   by the fire